i suck as a person

i suck as a person because i don't know how to fax and I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone. Isn't faxing something that died in the the late 90's? if it didn't then it should have. zip file or pdf i can do. email. place in an envolope and walk 15 blocks and 2 avenues i can do. i can't use phone lines. i don't even own one. I have an office phone and i'm not too sure how to use it. I don't call out. I only receive. still i don't see a fax device on it so that means i would have to search the place for one. peaking around corners looking for the machine. I'd feel dirty doing that. i also don't know how to in-office-mail. there is not a secretary on my floor.

oh no i just relized that Reader's Digest never paid me. assholes.

my chess game

i don't know if there's a computer chess game like this or not, but i want to play a game were you sort of travel around the world to different chess locations. Bryant park...some place in Paris... Moscow... well anywhere. and there can be levels. like you can start at the park or the ymca. but the best part is you see the environment and an opponent. so i thought I should make a mock up of this game. i only got as far as creating the pons and the board. one of many types of boards. and i wanted to show the torso of the other player. the player won't move the pieces. perhaps with good animators and programmers the opponent might move. but i'm cool with just the fact that someone is there.

Anyway here's my idea only I didn't add a background environment yet. I used Liv Tyler as the opponent for now.

Life is too hard

I’m not sure why I deserve to live sometimes. Like right now. I am trying to fill out the paper work for my health insurance. I am an idiot. I make plans to convince NASA to send me into space to experiment with watercolor in orbit. I sat in on a calc class at Columbia thinking I was going to compute a path to the sun from earth with no curves. But here I am looking over my shoulder at the insurance form on my drawing table. I can’t do it. I have the choice of 3 plans. There are 2 Aetna’s and 1 Oxford. All I want is to go to a really good doctor that won’t waste my time or fuck me up. I’ve seen how Jose’s insurance fucks him over all the time. I would like to know just how much this is going to cost me. I’m looking through the paper work and all it tells me is what my co-pays will be. Over and over. I want to see a chart-Yes a picture- of the most expensive to the least expensive. If the most expensive is 300 a month then I will choose the second most expensive. That’s my math. It’s simple enough to me. Do you think I will sound like a complete idiot if I explain my solution to HR?

Oh god if I ever get married my spouse with hate me for this. If not for the paper work then for the fact that I don’t look at prices when I shop. I don’t shop often…for anything. I hate it. I hate shopping. I hate sales.

For example: A few weeks ago I was coming back from my soccer game. It was cold and wet and I felt like I was going to catch a cold. On the way home I stopped at rite aid for soup and hot cocoa mix. When I got home I made a cup of cocoa and complained to José about rite aid not have marshmallows. Looking at the box he asked how much hot cocoa mix was. I was like “I don’t know. I don’t look at prices.” He was like, “how do you know look at the price?” And I said, “cus it doesn’t matter to me. If I want cocoa I’m going to buy cocoa. Plus it was 1 o’clock in the morning and raining what am I going to do? Bargain shop?”

anyway Jose that it was funny. But anyway in my defense about not bargain shopping ever…I don’t shop so when I do I feel its ok to buy more expensive things. Bullshit answer I know. Oh man I still have to fill out the paperwork today but I think I spent my free-time writing this. Now I have a board to redraw.

BITCHES

If i ever feel home sick for my old apartment all i have to do is use the internet and eventually my connection will fail. at that point i shake my fists and growl "BITCHES."

Then I head down to Jose's room, barge in when no one in there. climb over some shredded not so recycled paper and unplug both the netgear and modem, wait 15 seconds and replug. Then i go back to my computer and check the connection. I repeat if necessary.

"BITCHES" is the network name for our wireless router. It made perfect sense. Netgear is a little shit. Our first netgear (Cynthea's Netgear) was finally laid to rest at some point and Tricia's netgear took over. We named it "BITCHES" as well. Tricia gave the Netgear to Jose, Brian and me when she when left for Korea.

Now I am trying to upload my entire website folder by folder. Netgear is having lots of fun with that.

Here are some drawings from the weekend. The horses are from central park.
Jose hosted a drawing class at Gina's Betty Spaghetti's School of Art and Debauchery.

I wish I had a copy of Jose’s little sister’s drawing. She starts her people by drawing the arms first. Actually she starts at the elbows and bends them like sharp parenthesis.

Anyway, these are a few of my drawings.

some ideas

here are a few illustrations for the video i was talking about...

somedrawings

Last night I went to asifa drawing class. Late as usual. I had just come from work where I get to draw and color all day. I had just occurred to me that wow this is my life. all i have to do is draw and not be late. I should be better at this. Sure there's learning about the history of roman plumbing and trying to convince nasa to give me scuba lessons so i can draw weightless then send me into orbit to draw the earth from life. I really want to go to Patagonia or perhaps Antarctica... but what i have to do is draw and be on time. The biggest problem with my life drawing is that i tighten up when i draw the face. It often looks like two artists took turns: one drew the stiff head and the other drew the loose body. So I made myself hold my charcoal pencil the way i did in high school. which it like a piece of chalk. and i really tried to not think about the face. but I'm sick of my portfolio being filled with beautiful backsides and people looking away from me. So my drawing goal is to make my heads and bodies look like they belong together.

Here are 2 drawings from last night.

I like this the most....but you can't really see her face.

I was only happy with this because the face felt loose.

@ work- no spellcheck

There isn't really anything to do yet. I've been sitting around for 3 days. I can't complain thought. Perhaps i should work on my own ideas while I’m here.

I feel kind of sick today. Jose is one a diet that should cleanse his body of toxins in 2 weeks. So he has eaten real food in a while. Last night he drank 2 pints of warm sea saltwater and it "cleaned" himself out, he said. I didn't believe that would work so i drank it too. i thought i was going to pass out from the salt but i forced myself to finish it anyway. then i waited. nothing. nothing happen except me feeling like i was going to throw. I think my body absorbed the salt because I was craving water the whole night. I woke up and still wanted water. and sugar to balance. I keep feeling like sugar will fix it all.

Anyway before that saltwater thing happen. i came home last night to find a lamp from Jose's mother's house in our living room. I was very happy because now i won’t have to deal with "12 noon" happening when i turn on the overhead light. I cleaned up the corner for it by removing the 5 foot latter. on the other side of the room there sits a bookshelf with enough room near the wall to slip in the latter. there are some flatten boxes that need to be taken down stairs but its not a problem because there was still room. I tried to wedge the latter in but something was on the floor. i kicked it over. it was an Atari hiding behind the boxes in the latter's spot. I'm not sure if it came over with he lamp or if it has been there.

I started looking up video games today. I like games but i never play them. The ones I like the most are from the 80's. I finally found a still of Sneak N Peek. this was the very bad hide and seek game I remember playing. One player literally had to turn around while the other player hides, so they don’t see what’s happening onscreen. and if i remember this right...the music changes when the character goes outside to hide.

here is the still. there aren't a lot of places to hind in the livingroom. you could go under the couch or behind it.

Some watercolor

right now i'm trying to look busy. or maybe i dont have to look busy cus my boss knows i have no work and there are no customers . and the guy in next cubical is playing a loud video game. I so wish i had my head phones today. i want to listen to my music....which means the same tegan and sara songs over and over because i may get to go to their concert. i will be so happy if i do.

Here are the two paintings from sketch crawl. i was very tired that day and i think that's the only reason its looks like i can even sort of watercolor.
The first one is from the Harlem meer looking north outside of the park.
This is looking toward the alter in St. John the Divine Cathedral

A few weeks ago I stopped in 125^th street Starbucks on my way to watch Ugly Betty at Cynthea’s place. I wasn't sure where the line began. There was a young girl and guy talking at what may have been the end of the line. They did not have coffee. I tried to make eye contact with her to see if she was in fact apart of the line or just having a conversation, which happens sometimes. It appeared that she was not waiting so I walked up to the counter.

Her loud talking became more violent sounding. when i turn around she was addressing me.

"What the fuck are you looking at?!?"

Whenever I hear that phrase, my mind goes back to Pretty Woman at the hotel when the bell boy was just waiting for his tip. I snapped out of Pretty Woman and replied, "I didn't know if you were in line or not." searching for perhaps a laugh or some indication that she was joking. Who but a crazy person would be that hostel? I couldn't tell so I turned around and ordered. She looked sane, but i guess i have stereotyped crazies to have enlarged pupils, dark circles under their eyes and pee on themselves.

“No! she wanna start something with me! I’m uh kick her ass!” Pointing at me.

At that point she qualified as a crazy. But what could I do? I don’t fight. I definitely do not fight crazy people.

So I ignored her and ordered coffee. She wouldn’t leave me alone. Her friend was doing the good thing of holding her back and explaining that I only wanted to know if she was on line. As enraged people do…she became more violent when there was no way to actually act on it. Starbucks threw her out.

125^th street Starbucks was not empty of course so everyone watched this happen. One girl came up to me and asked if I needed someone to walk me home. That was nice, but I declined.

A few minutes later Crazy Girl came back in to warn me not to leave Starbucks or she would kick my ass. Starbucks threw her out again. Her friend came in and told me that she was drunk and offered to walk me home in case she came back. I notice he was missing one tooth. I wondered how he lost it. I like having teeth. I really hope nothing ever happens to mine.

Nice Girl and her friends decided to walk with me. Crazy girl was outside pacing up and down Lennox ave in a rage. As we passed her Nice Girl walked to the outside between Crazy Girl and me. She really didn’t have to but it was nice. Crazy Girl did nothing.

I was a little nervous to walk back to my apartment after Ugly Betty. There was no Nice Girl and passé to protect me. Once I got to my block I decided to go to Paris Blues. The bar on the corner of my block. The bar that does not had a soda gun but soda bottles, juice cartons and beer in a cooler. There is a pool table and a jukebox that only played old R&B and Soul. Awesome.

It was about 2am. I didn’t know it at first but I walked in on a very late birthday party. I looked out of place. I ordered a beer and broke a dollar for the pool table. Gladys Night was playing on the jukebox. Gladys Night played all night. The bartender’s daughter felt bad that I was playing alone so she asked to play too. I was used to playing alone after my time in Malaysia, but happy to play someone.

Under the pool table there were plywood boards leaning against the sides hiding coolers and other junk stored under the table. The problem was that they fell when your foot hit them. Finally we kicked down the boards and walked over them. Her mom gave me a free beer and I helped sing happy birthday to a lady I didn’t know. Too bad no one else I know wants to hang out at a dive.

Perhaps I could become a regular. I would have to go back for that to happen. The maybe I could have more friends in my neighborhood.

Trying to make myself draw again

I think I'm taking the job- I mean once they officially make the offer. Even though I've had at least 3 freelance offers since I've been home. hmm home. I should go to shopping for my home. I think I've now lived here for 3 weeks. I lived in my condo in KL for 6.

Here's a picture I drew from watching DEBS. I colored it the other night but still haven't added a background.

back on the horse?

I am really not prepared for my interview with a different large ad agency tomorrow. But before I completely fuck up -and I won’t mean to. Here’s...well part of the phone conversation:

“I’m sorry did I take you away from something?”

Me: “Oh no, no. I’m just recovering from jetlag. I came back from Malaysia a few days ago.”

“Oh wow, were you on vacation?”

Me: “I was teaching a flash animation course.”

"Oh wow. To the…the natives?”

Me: “uh…yeah."

Wasn’t sure to post this but I’ll get is out of the way…

Right now I’m on the plane somewhere over Russia. It’s 6:30 am eastern standard time. I’m in a window seat without a window. That’s fine because for the 6 hours I was trying to sleep, only the undead couple behind me has had their window shade up reading for the past 8 hours. The whole plane had its shades down. Lights were off, everyone was sleeping and the bigbang is was over on my shoulder. I hope jetlag fucks them up hard. There is another old guy that keeps farting.

Yesterday was my last day teaching at the studio. Well I was actually directing for the past three days. Yes directing my students in a real project for the studio which they may or may not able to use on their reel. If anything they should add that they animated for the NFL on their resume.

The good news is that I did not choose who was hired. Yeah I wish someone would have made that clear 3 weeks ago so I wouldn’t have been a maniac. The studio chose from the ones I passed. The ones I fail were not considered. I about asked this several times and only Friday-my last day- was I told a real answer.

The whole day my boss was asking for my evaluation sheets with “pass” or “not pass” marked. The Big boss told me “Well the other lecturers handed theirs in on Wednesday or at least a few days before the class was finished. And we need most of today to interview them.” So what the fuck? They have only had two lectures before me. If they were comfortable giving unpaid work to a student they had already failed that is their business. I don’t believe it to be ethical and I almost told her that last Tuesday.

She kept sending in people from the office. People that I really like but I had to walk them out of the room. I know she was only doing what the boss asked. I don’t know if I have to explain how protective I am at times and my animators are my responsibility. I made a deal with them. The project was due at 3:00. I would give them their grade for the class (the project was not part of the grade) and then I would let them fill out their evaluation of me. The office was not going to change that. Finally as I was still calculating grades when the Big Boss made her entrance.

B “Can I see your student evaluations?”

Me “I’m not finished with them.”

B “Why not? The other lecturers handed theirs in on Wednesday or at least a few days before the class was finished. And we need most of today to interview them.”

Me “I haven’t finished grading them. I can’t complete the evaluation until I know if they passed.”

B “Well don’t you know how well they did overall? Just evaluate how well did throughout the six weeks. Don’t base it on this project. What about their evaluation of you?”

Me: “I haven’t given it to them yet.”- I was still trying to do math at this time.

Boss: “Why not? It will only take 5 minutes.”

Me “They’re on deadline. I’m not going to stop them from working when they have a deadline.”

Boss “When’s the Deadline?”

Me “3:15”

B “Ok” then she walked out.

Then I reminded them that the deadline was still 3:00.

On Wednesday I handed out the project. The Golden Test. I was down 5 files. So I ran to the office and asked to use more files from the folder. They were all assigned. They were taken by freelances but the studio would gladly give them an unpaid trainees.

Then the Big Boss came in and said that they needed characters built for their new show immediately. It’s a tv show. The animation is supposed to look fluid and as traditional as possible. The characters have brushstroke lines. They had until Friday to produce built characters. They wanted to give that job to a student. I was stiff in my chair, in fact I wasn’t going to sit down until they asked me to. I think I was in shock because I don’t remember saying anything I just let it play out for a bit. Watching the little boss and big boss manage an imaginary schedule that all ended on Friday. They could have thrown in redirecting the Panama Canal by Friday and it wouldn’t have sounded out of place.

Finally I said, “I already told them about the this project. I can’t give 5 people characters to build. I told them this project really counts for a lot because it’s a real project. I can’t spring a new project on 5 of them.”

B “This was sprung on us. We didn’t know this was coming in. That’s just how it is. If they don’t do it this week they will have to next week.”

I was thinking to myself “WHAT? Then just tell them it’s not possible or quote them a very high price for a fucking rush job and give it to a professional to build.” Then I wondered how much a build character like that is even worth? If it’s a good build they could use it for the whole season and maybe more? You can’t have everyone animating the character the same way unless somebody built it. That has to be worth a lot. There was no way I would let someone do that for free. The big boss left the room for a business call. Then the little boss proceeded to convince me with how important it was.

LB ”Do you not think they can’t do it?”

Me ”I would have trouble with it and I haven’t prepared them for this. Can I give them the NFL project? I already went over it with them.”

LB “We have 3 more projects coming in next week. If they don’t work on this project, next week they will be overloaded.”

Me “But next week…they will be paid.”

LB “Would you like to tell [big boss] that?”

Me “Well, ok…” I stood up and thought shit, I can’t walk into her office she’s on the phone plus that’s like her territory.

“Uh, I’ll wait until she comes back.”

LB ‘You gave them the NFL project, why won’t you give them the character builds?”

Me “Yeah and I feel bad about that, but I told them that it was their most important final.”

Ok just the way she said that sounded like something a molester would say. You did that…why won’t you do this? Oh god, speaking of molester I think I was totally flirting with one my students when I tried to demonstrate how to find the North Star. I didn't mean to really but I totally creeped myself out.

Anyway, the other NFL files came in. I was let off the hook with the Character builds. And my animators were finished by 3 on Friday. Afterwards I had another plan. I graded them and technically everyone passed. Some with D’s but still passing. I don’t think that’s what the bosses had in mind. They wanted a handful I could name off the top of my head. The cream of the crop. But something else was troubling me. Whoever passes must sign a contract for one year. Perhaps it was a contract that any party could terminate at anytime but I don’t think so. A few asked me not to pass them. So I handed my evaluations to them, reminded everyone of the deadlines and hours they would have to put in, and to ask themselves if this was something they wanted to do and knew they could do it. Then I told them to check pass or not pass. 2 checked not pass. I had hoped for a few more.

The office interview the students and selected 6. Only 6 students because that’s how many positions they had available. Yeah that pissed me off later. If the office knew that only wanted 6 new employees why did I assign an actual project to 10 extra more people?

Ok aside from that. My students gave me some great gifts. I was so surprised. And I could finally hangout out with them as people and not as my students. But only for their graduation dinner because I my flight was the next morning.

The Golden Test...and I'm not going to the Islands

I'm just going to come home to New York. Too much of a hassle to change my ticket and go to an island where I don't know anyone. I can go to an island where I know lots of people and where I can find good Pizza.

As far as work... the studio keeps telling me that they only want "the cream of the crop." And my boss has been trying to get me to name names for the last 2 days. Oh and yesterday she interrupted me while I was helping a student on the final test to tell me she wanted to start the kids on a real project. That day. She wanted to know who was "ready." She wanted names there in front of everyone. Of course I wasn't going to tell her. Not there in front of my class. My thought was...will they be paid for this gig? I knew the answer so I didn't ask. Unlike much the time when I ask questions I already know the answers to. Does that make me an asshole?

I did ask "If my students work on this project...does that mean they're hired?"

"OH not yet. That's up to you...if you think they are ready to do this kind of work next or not. So who would you say could start on this project today."

me:"I-- I don't know.."

"Surely you have an idea of who's good."

me:"Yeha but I'm not finished grading their assignments."

"But who's good."

me:"Really if I had to choose today for a project that was due tomorrow. I would choose none of them. I don't know if they are ready for production now. Next week I think they could be."

"Who will be."

me:"I think a lot of them."

"You think you will pass all of them? You know we only want the Cream of the Crop... I want to start them on this project now because we have 3 more projects coming in next week. and they will be swamped. "

-ok it was not cool to play that card. it's not my problem if the studio can't plan a schedule that doesn't involve slave labor. It's not like they can't hire freelancers to meet their deadlines. And i know they do hire freelancers because I hear them talk about it.

Anyway, I actually have until Friday to choose who is hired. Why should I tell her on Tuesday? If that were the case then why have them animate the 3 finals I've given theml? Why not put them into production and the payroll. So yeah that's what its really about. My boss wanting free work. And you know how I free about free labor. Perhaps they should advertise as a free internship? This is supposed to be a "class." I am responsible for leading my students through it. I was given very little direction to teach this class. There was syllabus written by the 2 teachers before, but it wasn't very helpful. I basically imitated my professors at SVA . And now my boss wants to stop my class to have my students work on shit they wont be paid for...may not even be hired after.

So I felt as though I stood my ground I wasn't going to tell her names. Then I went for a walk. I wanted to talk to someone but it was 3am in new york. Finally I decided that I would give my students the free work as my 4th and last test. The Golden Test.

So I had a little heart to heart with my students and I imagine I looked like Jerry McGuire when he was quitting the agency. I ask them who thought they were ready to start on a real project today. Went around the room. A few that I'm worried about passing said "yes." So i said "Ok if you tell me you can do this. I'm going to believe you. Now I know you've have 3 test so far, but think of this as a Golden Test. It's a real job. If you do well and you finish by Friday...You pass! Even if you fucked of the other tests. This is the test that rights the wrongs."

Redang

Yesterday I was an idiot. I changed my mind. I want to see the stars and the beach. and be on the beach watching the stars. I bet it will rain now.

I gave my students a test which I think I would definitely have trouble animating.

...

So about 10 minutes ago I canceled my plans to go to an Island Resort this weekend lagunaredang.com I don't know if it was the right choice. KL I think is growing on me. If only I had known that I could drive with my US license before now. I've been hanging out with people and thats cool. I know it's only for 2 days and I would get to snorkel in the ocean. I kind of want to see people I know. I guess I could make friends there. The beach is what I've been talking about since I've been here but I think I'm tired of going places alone. I don't know. Is this just dumb? I thought about going to Korea and asked Maya if that was even possible but it wasn't. I think I only wanted to go there to see Tricia.

Germs are everywhere

Someone just told me why none of the kitchen or bathroom sinks I have encountered have a “hot water” option. “Only hotels” she said.

“How do people kill germs?”

“Soap.”

“Oh…does this mean there is no hot water in the kitchens of restaurants?”

“I don’t know. Germs are everywhere.”

Ok so I am just accepting. Yeah I was sick the first two weeks here. Maybe I just had to get used to germs? I don’t know. I can’t change it. I will just accept it.

Ok now that I’ve hidden my post from those who don’t care about killing germs... Here’s the juice: I am currently watching over 17 would-be-animators as a director. Yeah I am practically directing now and being more of an asshole than I was teaching.

The other day I was in the middle a lecture about gestures. I did not tell them specifically to “find the force” but I did try to make them not afraid to make messy drawings and to feel out the action. And so that made its way into my frustration with SVA drawing theories. Yeah I talk a lot. But then I was called into the office.

My supervisor asked me if it was possible to let my 5 best students on a real show today and to start the rest on the project tomorrow. She said there are exactly 17 scenes. My face dropped. I answered with “I don’t know…”

“Do you think any of them are ready for this?”

I was like, “I’m not sure… the style is so different from what I’ve been teaching them. I have a test on the show ready but I can’t expect them to jump onto a real project when they haven’t even seen a test.”

“Do you think there are maybe 5 students that could handle it? It’s up to you. If not, I’ll have to pull animators from another show. It’s do at the end of next week.

I’m thinking this is totally not cool because I hangout with the animators too and hear about their deadlines, but still. The schedule of the studio is not my problem and regardless of the project…the animators are getting paid. My students are not. But I was in the middle of the conversation and didn’t have time to form a sentence that wouldn’t sound like I was calling her an ass.

“I can’t give it to them today.”

“It’s up to you. Maybe Monday if they do well on the test?”

“Well I really wanted to test them on the other show too because it’s more traditional. Um will they work with the director? I mean so the director can lead them through it?

“Well you would sort of be like the director.”

Face drops again.

“I’ve never seen the show. I’m not familiar with the animation style.”

“The scenes are all timed out with audio. They just have to make them move. You could just check files. Make sure it looks ok.”

“Can I think about this?

Ok so now its Friday 5:25pm. I really don’t think anyone is finished with their test which I gave on Wednesday. Is it because they are bad animators? I’m a bad director? I’m a bad teacher blogging this minute? Or it’s a lot to ask of someone? I’m going to guess that the majority are on the right track but not in the groove of the show yet. A few I am worried about and I’m not sure if they could figure it out later. Fuck, who am I to judge? Fuck this. I think I am sure I’m giving them the other test and not an episode.

Richard is mad at me

Today I was told that my driver could not pick me after school. I am 15 years old. Maya said she was calling for another taxi. I learned about this on my desk phone in front of all my students who were going to commute home like adults. Suddenly I had a great idea…what if I commute home too. I could find my way right? I live in NYC and yes it’s more convenient for people that step places instead of drive but still. I’m 28 years old and there I was whining about taking care of myself. So I asked my students how to get to the train. They said take the bus to the train. And so I was like “hmmm the bus?” as if it was a novel idea. I had never heard of it and it sounded like an adventure. “Where do I get the bus?” I asked. Student said “the bus stop” and went on to say which bus number. I know my face did that soulless thing that Tricia always talks about. “Where is the bus stop?” She answered, “The entrance of Technology Park… The grass circle at the gate?”

Okay I don’t really pay attention once the cab is close. I’m usually gathering my things or reading for my lecture. So yeah I didn’t really know how to get to the gate of Technology Park, but I’m sure that’s where everyone without a car was going. I forgot I was still on the phone with Maya so I apologized when she yelled “She’s lying don’t lesson to her!” I said “She’s not lying!” and the conversation went on about why I couldn’t take the train.

It was now 6pm and my students were signing out. “Hold on I have to give homework” I told Maya, “Okay guys, homework…five hands and I’ll know if you reuse the last ones” The class groaned. Half the students looked terrified. I don’t know why they always look terrified when I give assignments. I went back to the phone, but they were still standing there looking terrified. I snapped “What!?! You can draw 5 hands. Draw your own. You have two hands. You should be happy. Some people don’t!” Maya was laughing on the phone and had arranged the taxi. I had to tend to a student’s storyboard and do some other errands before I left. I went out to find this taxi who I had hoped wouldn’t show or had found another willing passenger.

I saw Richard in the cab. What? Richard is not my driver driver. Raymond is my official driver but he has two cars and lets his friend Richard drive one for a small fee. If I had to describe them I would say they were like my uncles, Hank and Tom. Although I don’t know Hank very well I see him as quieter than Tom and more responsible. Tom for the most part scares me but when he isn’t drunk, can be very entertaining. So I guess that’s why I like riding with Richard because he is entertaining and brags about his driving ability while not noticing his turning blinker still on while we are on freeway. He also likes to pick up passengers who are going the same way. Usually pretty girls. I know it sounds creepy but I think it’s only because he notices them more. Like the damsel in distressed thing. One time the car was having horrible problems and he picked of a family of three. Of course the 2 year sat on his dad’s lap in the front seat. I don’t know why most people ride Britney Style with their children. The car died on the expressway. It immediately started again but it died twice over a speed bump when he let them off.

Anyway Richard was like where were you?!? “I’ve been here are a half hour!” And I was like “I didn’t know you were picking me up” I tried to explain the Maya thing but he had the phone out with Raymond on it. I spoke to him but mostly just hi and that Maya said he wasn’t coming. I don’t know what that that accomplished. Oh great I just realized I didn’t get a receipt from Richard. Yeah for some reason I had to pay cash today. And I was supposed to bring the receipt for reimbursement. Anyway I don’t think he ever understood what was different about today. Plus he thinks I arrange things with Raymond myself when I always tell him that Maya arranges everything.

I learn some more words today at lunch. “Le ho mo” is how are you in Chinese. I thought it sounded suspect but I tried it on a Chinese girl and she said “good.” Sayang is love in Bahasa Melayu and I learned “I love you” only for a moment. I should have written it down. I now have in my moleskin numbers 1 to 10 Bahasa Melayu.

work is a 4 letter word

I'm not sure why but I decided to apply to Disney today. It turns out that you can apply online by uploading your resume to their site. My account is waiting approval now. I don't know how long that will take.

If you want to apply too here's the link. Can't hurt right?

I know I should be site seeing all over Malaysia with my pretend money from the future, but I never feel like doing much on the weekend. Besides I've actually felt like working lately so maybe I should take advantage. Here's a very detailed storyboard- it's really more of a layout/finished frame at this point. I'm not quite sure about this, but I'm thinking of muting the color on the photos almost to the point of black and white. So I'm playing with that too.

Tunku and other stuff

I think I get used to luxury very fast and don't even know it's luxury. Take my condo with the pool that I am always complaining about...or how I live in a very desired neighborhood and yet I think of it like New Jersey. Right now I'm at the Friendster cafe eating pasta with lobster, chicken and other things while drinking a mocha and perrier. In my defense it's 6pm and this is the first time I have eaten today.

A friend from work invited me to see a musical about the history of Malaysia called Tunku. It was really cool. I wish I would have thought to buy a cd. We went with her family and girlfriend. I am about the most dense person ever for not being able to pick that up before. So here I am wondering where all the gay people are and well they are at the theatre.

In the musical everyone wears black/white or grey. I think to make us feel like we are watching tv in the 60's. The stage had 3 screens. Parts of the performance were projected over things like newspaper Headlines and signatures. All in black and white. The racial conflict within Malaysia and the secession of Singapore was very interesting and of course the Chinese mistress too. So I guess I am learning something. Then at the end everyone comes out for a bow wearing very colorful clothing. It reminded me of the end of RENT. And there were some very cute boys in tight clothing and I thought of Jose and Seth and Brian too. I think they would have enjoyed that. I liked the play but here's a fun bad review. Because bad reviews are more fun to read.

Oh I also found out that some students have a hard time with my English. I feel so bad. No wonder they are painting rainbows and making reflections. They say I speak too fast. I bet if I spoke proper English they would understand me better. So I will desperately try that. As far as assignments I haven't been on their case in last few weeks. I felt I was giving them space. Room to fly. But seeing that they have 2 weeks left and I have to grade their assignments. I'm going to run them like 9th grade girls volleyball. Run them until that want to quit. Sucks but I have to be a dick again. I think I will repeat that speech in on Monday.

wtf

I’m at the café. Not sure why I have to keep mentioning that. If I am online at all its because I’m at the café or at the school. Class I hope is getting better. I have a new task. I have to get these kids ready for the last 2 weeks where they will be working on the companies project as a test. So this week I have to rundown storyboards, slugs and even exposure sheets (RF uses real x-sheets).

I was online with my mom. She went down to Oklahoma to visit family and they were all discussing the Scheelies path near my great aunts house. Mom says Scheelies turn into animals at night. I asked her if they were like Michael Jackson. Can they turn into cars? Anyway my great Aunt smokes a pipe, with something she buys from the medicine man, around the house each night to keep these ghosts or whatever from entering. I guess Scheelies are ghosts that turn into animals at night but look like people in the day. Because you know it’s not creepy to have people wondering about in the woods behind your house. I bet those ghosts or whatever feel like real bad asses for turning into animals. i don’t know why that would be helpful. couldn’t they just be invisible? That’s bad ass enough.

A really not cool thing just happened…I found out that I paid a $488. bill to American Express which belonged to my brother. It was a past balance from a year ago. How could that happen? and how does one have an american express balance from a year ago. It’s a charge card not a credit card. Now I have to pay my actual balance too. Mom assured me it can’t happen again. Wtf?

Drinking tap water at the cafe

Right now everything has a very hazy glow around it. Like those scenes in Camelot when Guinevere enters Lancelot’s chambers with a gust of wind blowing her hair and white hazy, dreaming glow around the frizzy silhouette. Only this isn’t funny, it hurts a lot. I’m sure I have chlorine in my eyes after rinsing 10 times. My eyes are watering even after 6 hours. It feels like someone dropped 50 gallons of Tide in the pool. I’m at the café now and I’m afraid the waiters are ignoring me because they think I may need a moment to myself. I’m not crying. Well I am but not because I’m sad just because I cant help it. I keep thinking of the movie “Wild hearts can’t be broken” (The only movie can watch with my grandmother and enjoy for the right reasons). Anyway the girl went blind because she hit the water with her eyes open. Was there Tide in the water? Here are sketches of the pool.

So I could have more friends. There’s a girl in production who loves to bowl. I think her average is like 180. I totally want to hangout with her, but it she lives with 5 of my students. I’m trying to stay away from my students. It was bad enough when I had to share a cab with two. And guess what… one of those students did not show up the next day. What the fuck? He was the one also sleeping in class and I had to give him “a talkin’ to.” I told him I will dismiss him from my class the next time.
This sucks I totally want to grade on pass/fail. If you are here and complete the assignments YOU WIN! And the company can deal with the hiring. What do you think?

I’ve noticed that everybody eats the same way. Fork in left hand and spoon in the right. I asked Maya and she told me they use the fork in their left hand because traditionally you use your right hand to pick up bread or whatever. I’m not sure what American etiquette is. I use my fork in my right hand and if I want to pick up food I put down the fork and use my right hand leaving my left hand doing nothing. Sometimes it’s in my lap or my elbow is on the table or maybe I use it to drink. Anyway when I’m at lunch I mimic their style of eating but when I’m at the café I put my fork in my right hoping to find other people who do. There was a girl on the outside of the café eating pasta. I drew her, but I couldn’t draw her face because it was behind the sign. Anyway she used the fork in her right hand but sometimes also used fork/spoon combo to eat like an Italian. I don’t if she was a westerner or wanted to eat like an Italian. If I had to guess I was say Chinese, but maybe American? I don’t know.

Soon I should write about my two taxi drivers. They somehow remind me of Tricia and myself or my two uncles.

I don't want to be a teacher

When I signed up for this job. They title was "guest lecturer." What does that mean? I thought it meant I go to different classes and talk about flash animation in NY or show a few tips and answer questions. I did not think I would be a full-fledged flash animation instructor who must give grades. Or I should say a "Teacher." Even though today I was saying it's not bad at all and I could do this in NYC, I am having second thoughts about that. I am not a babysitter and if a student has missed 5 days in 2 weeks (with only 3 days having a good reason) and when the student is here rarely works on their project. What am I to do? I really hate to do it. I am very understanding when it comes to lateness as long as the students are polite and apologize and then work very hard.

The other factor again is that my class practically determines who is hired. Will the company want to hire a worker who is rarely here? The fact that he is very talented shouldn't matter here. Shit this kid's head in down listening to music.

Ok yeah I was a horrible student and should have failed many classes but I was always respectful when I there yes? Anyway I am thinking of kicking this kid out of my class. What do you think?

I Topped Up

I'm going to forget that the words "top" and "up" make up the phrase "Top Up" because I will never fully understand why that means "register". For a week I was convinced that it meant "pay up" and I constantly explained to everyone that I had already paid. It also did not help that I had my own number wrong (not my fault) so naturally when the 7-11 guy helped me register my number Maxis (the phone company) blocked my phone thinking someone had stolen my TopUp numbers. I think Ma*laysians are in love with the word "top". I see it everywhere. TopAir is the Mal*aysian air conditioner company...there is a detergent simply called TOP and of course Top Up has replaced "register," because no one could explain what it meant to me they just said "Top Up" in different ways and hand gestures over and over. Tonight, for the first time, I Topped Up completely on my own.

I'm at the cafe again. The waiters must have seen me coming because as a joke they placed a 'reserve' sign on my table. there is a mosquito having thanksgiving dinner on my right foot. something horrible bit my neck today at lunch. Right on the vain. I think it even bled a little. It looked like i had a hickey and it so very painful. I kept thinking about horsefly teeth or whatever they are called cutting into my neck. I know it wasn't but it didn't feel like a mosquito. plus I hit a fly earlier that tried landing on my food. I hit it mid air and felt it slam against my hand, but instead of killing it I pushed it in the air for a moment. could that have been a horsefly? It still hurts.

I'm having fun playing with the assignments I'm giving in class. I really don't want to grade my students. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to do with them being hired. I will post some of my animations soon.

Oh yeah I just found out yesterday that my condo has a pool and a small gym. so now I swim after work:)

more sketches

Here is a sketch of the Pretonas Twin Towers mall from memory. actually all of these sketches have been memory.

This is what the bathrooms at the school look like. I usually use the western toilet but the other day I conquered the hole-in-the-floor one. The walls come down to the floor (i like more privacy ) . there are hoses in each stall, but the floors in every toilet i've used have been wet.That's not cool. cus sometimes i think it's water but other times it smells like pee. There are also doors but i didn't draw them.
Here is the Ikea mall pronounced (Ickia with 2 syllables) from the highway.

The*se are in case B*g Br*ther is watching

Everyone may hate me for this but I can't take pictures. I was told that no place sells disposable cameras. everyone uses digital ones and can buy one for 300 US dollars. I'm not buying electronics here. I don't want to deal when them blowing up when I try to plug them in a different outlet.

so here are a few places I’ve been from photos I found online…

This is the Eye on Mala*ysia Farris wheel. It’s pretty cool and so cheesy. I love it. They also have a fountain laser light show with the Visit *alaysia commercial that I saw on the plane. The lyrics are… Mallla*aaaysiaa*a the Asian true paradise. You can do all the things in the commercial that only people with herpes get to do in the States.

I also saw the Petrona*s Twin Towers and there is of course a mall at the bottom. A big mall. They have little statues of it in the gift shops just like the Empire State Building. I love it because they have also put the mall on the plaque. I should buy a few. Oh and there’s a large pool where kids can swim on one side but the water flows down into a fountain so every time I see the water squirt up I think of all the kid pee there must be shooting beautifully in the air.

This is part of the fountain. I saw this and thought it would be a cool picture. I see someone else thought so too.

And..I saw Chinatown and was expecting to fall through a portal to “CHINATOWN” because I know that you can always buy fake LV and Lollex but, I like our Chinatown much more. There’s more traffic and fish juices on the ground, plus surprisingly fake “I heart NY” t-shirts are cheaper than “I heart KL” shirts.

I'm 3.6x less poor

Since my 12 Ringgit lattes are actually almost 4 dollars and since I have turned down 30 Ringgit restaurants because I thought those 12 dollar plates were too expensive...I got my hair cut today.

Tomorrow is Malaysian Independence Eve and some people from production have invited me to join them. I think this means I will have friends and may not be so grouchy. Today became high school when I decided to eat with the cafeteria and not the restaurant away from everyone. First I was to eat with Hardy but I lost him and then found some other people from production and then ran into Maya from the office when she asked me to join her friends. I think they liked my interested in very bad movies. So I hope its fun.

My students aren’t so bad. It would be cool to hang out with them if I wasn’t grading them and possibly a factor in them being hired. Then it just seems uncomfortable. I really hope I’m not the one who decides that. I still haven’t graded them on anything. I figure I’ll let them go back and correct things on their time. Then hand it in the last week. And I’m still planning for them to have very very a short film. I think this will be good also for those who aren’t great draftsmen. I have shown them some Mary Blair inspired animation and UPA stuff. I also showed the Dot and the Line: a Love Story in Lower Mathematics. I’ve actually shown them a lot of animation that I don’t think they would see other wise. Did you know Jack Hanna directed Lambert the Sheepish Lion? Or that Muybridge murdered someone?

Random drawing

I'm in class now...here's a drawing of something like a new york street. not a real one but i think it would look like this.

I have made a syllabus for class and that plan is to start the four leg walk cycle tomorrow. then the lip sync will probably be next week which is cool with me. In the tradition of Don, Ira and Marty i am going to have them make a short film. and i will only give them 2 and 1/2 weeks to do it. so it better be very very short i will tell them.

I'm not eating inside my apartment again

So far i have violently thrown up after drinking what a was possibly very very bad milk. Milk tastes so different here so I can't tell whats good or bad. The date said 07-09-07 what i take as the 7th of september 2007 since some places say DD/MM/YY. But that would mean the milk had a live span of way over 2 weeks. So i poured it over my Life cereal and ate away. The cereal did a good job of disguising the taste, but about 15 minutes later i started puking.

Today I decided to finally use the scary stove. I can't even call it a stove. I have 2 burners on my counter. under the counter is a large tank of something that lights the burners. actually i still have to light them with a match, but first i must turn on the big blue tank. It read "Propane." The only thing i know about propane is that Hank from King of the Hill is always priding himself on how Propane is a cleaner burning than I don't know...but anway I tried using it to cook my pasta. yeah I bought pasta and Prego and olive oil. First the whole apartment smelled like gas but it went away or i got used to it. Then I ate my pasta and i kept thinking it tastes like gas...then i was feeling kind of really gross. so I came back to the Friendster cafe and I am eating a yummy club with bacon and egg on it too. here's my stove:

It has occurred to more than once that my condo is a ghetto fire trap. so i drew a plan of my escape in case of a fire. First i don't trust my electricity. there is no need for every outlet to have 235v of power and now there's the propane oh and lets not forget the gate which i will no long lock once they replace it.

Trapped

Before I was talking how the gate on my door made me nervous. The one that required 2 keys (a skeleton and padlock) to open it. Somehow i accepted it becuase no one else had a problem with it. I don't know, maybe it will stop assassins. Should I worry about that?

So this morning I was on my way out the door to a someplace with internet before work when my gate would not unlock. after trying for 10 minutes I called Loh, the super or somthing and he came to help. then he ran off to get more help. This was really staring to freak me out. what if there were a fire inside and i couldn't get out? its a bad idea to ever lock yourself in anywhere where you need a key to get out. yes. Loh didn't come back for while and the taxi was on its way to take me to work. finally i kicked open the gate with a jumping front kick. i guess 2 years of karate finally did some good. so with my door frame busted and the gate wide open, i left. i tried calling Loh to tell him about the door but my phone said i need to 'top up' so i left a note with the guard.

My Place

I still have to write about top up, but for now I wanted to show some of my studio apartment. I still don't have a camera so here's a few sketches.

This scared me at first. I don't know why i would need a padlock or a gate to my door that is inside a secured apartment building.


This is the view from the door. my bed is behind the couch. To the right of the near table is the shower window. a very large mirror is on the left wall. you can see the shower window in the reflection.

My view is nice. I'm on the 11th floor and look over other high rises and beyond that i think is a rain forest with power lines.


This is my shower. I have taken only one hot shower when the electric power worked. you can see this threw the window from my bed or the couch. It actually reads "Electric Power."

I hate flash

i hate flash because when you ask for one inbetween using an arc you get half the class taking the artwork from the first pose and rotating it 8 times.

Animation Teacher

I went total Eric Eiser on them. I started them off with drawing from xerox copies of animal walks and total them "i don't want to see pretty pictures." I don't know if eric would be proud or angry i stole his thunder. eh hes a cool guy and it was the way i was taught. then i moved onto the bouncing ball which i thought would take them quite awhile. they finished quickly and so i make them clean it up haha haha most of them didn't draw 16 frames but over 40. but i let them do it again- clean it up and add a colored backgound. still they were finished by lunch. so gave them the flour sack toss which again some got it right away but the others resisted and wouldn't follow my instruction to fist make a layout so there are no surprises. oh and strong poses. most don't know what that is. so the afternoon lasted forever. i thought it would be hard to critique their animation but it was easy to be a dick.

And so at the end of the day I gave homework of 5 hands with strong poses showing force. hahaha. so there it is my 74,000 dollar education. they should be happy. oh plus i should them cynthea's film to show acting with a circle and entire story of course. oh god. it's a god thing they have a basic knowledge of flash. im not sure how to introduce characters yet but i know they like the head a symbol but don't nest the rest of the body. ok. im not sure how i am as a teacher but i'm trying to be like Eiser, Beckerman and Morgan- even a little Mattesi with the homework.

I'm not sure of my lesson tomorrow. I passed out when I came home. the electricity works again. still scary. I need a Malaysian plug to work from here. I wish i have my other animation books.

I am the only teacher

I’m at the friendster cafe watching a football game on tv. I still don’t know who is playing. I saw kids playing soccer outside today. I wish I had brought my cleats. I still don’t have an alarm clock or watch. Maybe 7-11 has one.

Oh yeah I am the animation faculty after this week. There is one other teacher but her class will end this week. So I plan to focus on the bouncing ball and drawing cartoon characters ‘not as pretty pictures’ just like in Eiser’s class. But then apply that in flash. I need a plug for my computer.

I found out why I blew out my electricity. The converter I used allowed too much power through. I am now using the big thing Cynthea gave me which has a switch for low and high. Still I fear for my computer which is my life.

Wish me luck tomorrow on waking up:)

Blew out my electricity

It’s 2:30am in Kuala Lumpur, what time is it in New York?

I blew out the electricity in half my outlets when I tried to plug in my surge protector. I have 1:30 hours battery left on my laptop and I am scared to death of trying to plug the power plug..

I don’t live a hotel. I live in an apartment in Selangar. Which is like saying I live in NYC but really live somewhere in Long Island where I would have to drive to the train. I think this place is kind of ghetto but maybe it’s normal for all the 30 story apartment buildings to have little canals running behind them into a manmade pond over yonder.

My apartment is kind of cute. I looks like a small version of Jose’s mother house. I have porcelain floors. A couch, full size bed, tv (that doesn’t work now) and cute fridge. The bathroom has a large corner window in it so I could watch someone bath from my bed or the couch or the dinning area. The toilet leaks and there is no hot water. And I don’t have a phone yet to call that guy who is not a super.

I went shopping today with my bosses assistant. We went to a place that was exactly like Super Wal-mart. It was great because I get lost in walmart even in the States. So I bought a pan, bowel, plate, pasta, sauce, milk (Dutch Lady) chocolate milk and orange juice. No alarm clock. I forgot to pack it and my phone reads the time for the satellite it can not see. Plus it’s dead not.

I think I will wait until to got the 24 hour 7-11. Everything here is supposedly 24 hours but half the stores looked closed in the daytime. Plus I don’t see anybody walking. Everyone has a car or motorbike of some sort. I want one. Or even a bike but I can’t ride a bike on the highway which how I could get to ikea mall or cinema.

Once I get online I need to find a Malaysia power plug for my computer. I can risk blowing it out too.

new apartment

I'm designing the my new room. Can't decide if i like red accent walls or green. here are my ideas. There is a little nook for my studio/office stuff. oh and its smaller in real life.

Most awesome bathroom ever.

This is not a mirror image.

The Willowz video

Hey it looks like it's okay to post this since it's on youtube.

This is the Michel and Paul Gondry video I worked on a month ago. I animated only about 4 scenes. The NEW. "RAG" billoard animated truck out was one.

sibyl study

I'm still playing with sketchbook pro. I wish the pencils could smear, but i guess i should practice on paper for that. I should also be drawing something else right now.

Morrissey canceled

Morrissey canceled his show at Madison Square Garden tonight due to "illness." I was so excited until I found out last night. Now I'm really really bummed. Apparently his vocal cords were in pain. He has canceled 3 shows so far. so yeah, I then drew this in sketchbook pro, painted in photoshop. Click to see it larger.

Trader Joe's

I didn’t know the new refrigerator would show up today. The two moving guys helped me pull out everyone’s food and all the rotten food (the old fridge let everything melt). Then installed the new fridge. I realized half way through this that they would expect a tip. Only I was completely broke and told them I didn’t have any cash.
Moving guy: No cash at all?
Me: Uh yeah hold on, I’ll check.
I ran to my room and found my last 3 dollars. I had to give them something. Then I remembered the Trader Joe's merlot I bought for La bohème in the park which was never actually rescheduled like the park’s people told me it would. So I bartered my wine as a tip. They were hesitant at first and asked if it was any good. I assured them that it was. So the guy took it and the other guy picked up my 3 dollars on the way out. Asshole.

I’m going to draw a picture of this soon.

map :)

Um no one is allowed to follow this map.
This is what I had been working on for the past 3 weeks. It’s about 28x18 inches on canvas. I scanned it in pieces afterwards but I had trouble lining up the scans.

Seal's song wasn't saying “We are never going to surviiiiiive unless get a lid on crazy.” Like how I thought it did. Meaning that we have to stop the “crazy.” You know, we have to get a lid on it. Get a lid on the "crazy." It turns out he said “We are never going to survive unless get a little crazy” Now I’m not sure what to do with my life.

I'm finishing up my project tonight...and next I'll start on some work I am animating for no pay. Yet I'm very excited about doing it:)

my cool lightbox

I'll post what I'm making soon.

Sometimes it's so hard
To find the right smilie
That conveys my feelings

Cycled to New Jersey

I went to hang out with Nelson, Pedro and Meaghan on Sunday. I rode down to the park and somehow made a little tour out of it.
We saw a Pow Wow/christening at the Great Hill.



This is from the River Side Drive looking south. I then looked north and decided that the Ft Washington Bridge didn't look too far away. I didn't know it was on 180th street.


I made it to the bridge.


Then I wanted to go over there on one of the cliffs. See the little peninsula? I ened up getting closer to it.

Sketch of the peninsula from a cliff. I left a quarter on it so I'd have a reason to go back to it soon.