Christi Solo

okay so like I didn't want to ruin my costume but my Blaster just came and it wasn't what I expected. This is so not butch. This is puny. How can I shoot Greedos?


My gun was supposed to be this size. I used to dress like this everyday when I was 6. When I wanted to really be Solo. I drew it before before Tricia and Cynthea but I was trying to keep it a secret.

Cynthea Queen

Atreyu Tricia and Pepe off model

Twinkie the Kid

So yeah this is me sketching like I was in Eric Eisers class again. I scanned the metro card cus I don't have a flat ruler.

Do I believe in The Devil?

I called home today because I forgot to call yesterday on Arkalalah. My dad picked up. at some random point in the conversation he asked me, "Did you tell your grandmother that you didn't believe there's a Devil?" I was thinking oh great I'm in trouble. I probably did at some point say I didn't know if I believed there was a devil or not, but that had to have been a long time ago. Was she thinking about this recently?

I knew I didn't want to talk about it with him. Why? Because it's pointless to expect someone to believe what you believe. I know people do it all the time, but really everyone has their personal beliefs outside of their religious doctrine, no matter what they might say. So I told him "Well if it makes her feel better to believe that I believe in the in the Devil then tell her I do."

Other than making my grandmother feel better he wanted to know if I really didn't believe in The Devil. "Why do you think the world is in the state that it's in?" he asked. I meant to say "Cus people are selfish greedy assholes" but he doesn't like when I curse so I had to reroute the sentence which probably came out sounding stupid. Something along the lines of man has free will and it's silly to place blame on some immortal being and not take responsibility for ones own actions.

Then he said "But we raised you to believe there was a devil." I said that lots of people believe in God without believing there's a devil. The Jews believe in only God and it was their religion first. Then i tried to get off the subject.

Really was this important at all? So what if I don't believe in the devil. You can't believe something just because someone raised you to, or told you to, or even if you told yourself to believe. Perhaps if you were brainwashed. Perhaps you could for awhile. After a while you would feel what you feel and you either believe what you feel or you lie to yourself.

I could go on about why I question the existence of The Devil. Why the story of Lucifer is not even in the Bible but in a 17th-century epic poem called Paradise Lost. or why Satan in the book of Job was not clearly an evil being at all. What I find strange is that Christians see Satan as the immortal embodiment of evil with the power to corrupt mankind, but will not admit that by believing that, they have made him a god. In Judaism there is only one god. If there is another being who represents a different aspect of humanity(evil), that makes it a second god regardless if you called them a god or not. You don't get one god and one devil. If you really need two immortal polar extremes then what you have are two gods. A good god and a bad god. And this is why I do not believe in a devil because I believe in one immortal being, God.

Actually even that is not true. Because I may believe in other gods such as the Great Spirit or Apollo. Our Lady of Guadalupe. For that matter there could be a Devil. Who is to say he isn't simply the guy that runs Hell. Maybe it's a shitty job and he doesn't care if who's there or not. Like Hades. Or maybe there really is The Devil and he's really pissed off that people aren't calling him The Evil God.

This is why I try not to talk about religion or politics with my family anymore. I know we just believe and think differently. it will only start an argument which no one will win. I care for my family far more than religion or politics.

And I really don't know if there's a Devil in the sense of evil personified. No one does. And if tonight the DEVIL decides to reveal himself to me...yeah I will be scared out of my wits and then believe he's real. But really if that were to happen I would think the Devil is a lame loser with nothing better to do.

I guess I'm taking requests. This one goes out to my homie, Tricia. I hope you weren't bit by that spider. this is an alien on a horse. I made him an Indian or perhaps just very interested in Native culture.

I feel like I'm going to throw up tangerine seeds.6 or 7 or them.maybe 9. I bought tangerines for the first time. They were part of my homemade egg mcmuffin brunch. Now I picture baby tangerine trees incubating in my belly. I feel so sick. Should I try to throw up? I can't risk losing my egg muffin and hazelnut coffee.

I have the most awesome bruise of a soccer ball imprint on my thigh.

Thursday is the ASIFA open screening and I plan to show the lighthouse animation there. Hopefully finished but if not I will show it anyway. I don't know what happened to me for the past month and a half. Guess I've been too depressed and gave up on art in a way. But recently I've had the urge to study Hopper and other Ashcan school painters. This means I need to visit the Whitney.

I also need to take more pictures with my digital camera. It's silly to have unlimited film and not use it. Here are a few I took the other day...












Cynthea wanted me to draw a mermaid. Here it is

The Innovator

According to the US Navy website's Officer Planner quiz I am "The Innovator." They totally lifted their quiz from The Spark personality tests. Here are the results. This all reminds me of so 8 years ago...

The Innovator Profile
Innovators are artistic and like to apply their imagination to invent creative things or find unique ways of doing things. They see themselves as expressive, original and independent. Does this sound like you?

Activities and Interests
If you’re an Innovator, you may currently enjoy activities or hobbies such as:

* Performing: music, dance or drama
* Photography
* Visiting art museums
* Painting, sketching, design or creative writing
* Making homemade crafts or sewing
* Travel
* Learning foreign languages

Work Environments
Innovators like unstructured work situations and prefer to work in roles where creativity is valued.
As an Innovator, it’s likely you’ll enjoy careers that allow you to:
* Express yourself creatively
* Think imaginatively or conceptually
* Produce or review artistic works

It goes into a break down of the Navy quiz...

Do-er = 8
Persuader = 4
Problem solver= 2
Adviser = 0
Planner = 0

I think I problem solve much better than "2," but I said no to any question involving computers or sitting. I don't think I am a "do-er" so much...either. there isn't a category for loner or loser. Procrastinator.

You might wonder why I'm on the Navy website. Because I like to flirt with the idea of joining. Seeing the world. Owning a motorcycle. One of those very old bikes with the double headlights and short handle bars. Palm trees. Looking out onto the horizon and seeing ocean in every direction. I've never been on a boat. I road the ferry a few times and I tried to stand as close to the front edge as they would allow. I want a change in my life. Sometimes I'm afraid I might "just be a dreamer."

Being a dreamer had always sounded like a good thing. A creative dreamy way of seeing thing world. People also use it as a bad word. Inventors, artists, musicians, writers where always dreamers. Right? That's how it goes? You dream dream dream even if no one has faith, and then you keep dreaming and believing -and oh yeah hard work and dedication- it happens right? Right? Is the only way that it might not happen is if you give up?

This was really not supposed to go in this direction. I really want to think about the Navy more.

You know I think it's odd that the quiz results didn't tell me any specific careers I could do in the Navy.

yay concert pics

I bought 4 tickets to Tegan and Sara thinking more people were coming. I kinda forgot to invite until the last minute. Anyway I was stuck with 2 extra tickets so I tried to sell them on Craig’s List , but everyone was selling their T&S tickets. I ended up selling them for drinks just so they wouldn’t go to waste. It worked out. Sara and I got “free” drinks and two random people got to see the show. 

I took my camera. Here are some burry pictures I took while trying to understand my camera

Tegan next to the EXIT sign

Sara in red light. 

Sara took the next two. She found that it worked better when the flash was on, but covered up the light.

The clock says 10:10. That's Tegan signing.

yay

Here are a few I took.
Tegan on keyboard. Sara picking something off the stage.

Sara singing something sad.

Here is a little bit of video. I know it isn't great, but its hard to steady a small camera above everyone's head.

I watched the debate

I tried to pay attention when Biden spoke. really I did. But his eye's look just like Sam, the Eagle from the Muppets. So this is what I saw.


Up until this week I was voting for Obama. Now, I'm not so sure. He and Mccain do not support gay marriage and he supports the $700 billion bailout. Cynthea says you have to vote for the person you agree with most on many issues. I still can't think of an issue in which I agree with Obama, other than I don’t want McCain for President. I actually used to like McCain before he started to run.

I'm looking into other candidates. There is a woman named Cynthia McKinney running with the Green party. So far I like her stance on issues but I know little about her.

apparently 4.6 miles looks like this

This is the path i ran today for lunch.




In other news, my landlord is threatening to take legal action unless they receive this months and last months rent by Oct. 3rd. On top of that, they have an employee who is now claiming she is a lawyer. I would love to see what goes on in that office. I bet its like a sitcom. "YOU! Be the attorney today!" I should have known something was up when I saw that their restroom had two toilets side by side with no divider.



one more thing.
I DID NOT draw this frame but I did color it. This is another "Stacy and Lisa" (as Charles Spranklin would say) and of course they are lesbians. Can't you tell? You can not? Notice the way they look at each other... the brunette is towering over the blonde. They are alone in a dimly lit setting. It is the job of one to dress the other. This is totally 1950's code for lesbian pulp. My boss is a genius and doesn't know it. oh yeah, Cynthea does't like my blurry airbrush curtains.