i suck as a person

i suck as a person because i don't know how to fax and I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone. Isn't faxing something that died in the the late 90's? if it didn't then it should have. zip file or pdf i can do. email. place in an envolope and walk 15 blocks and 2 avenues i can do. i can't use phone lines. i don't even own one. I have an office phone and i'm not too sure how to use it. I don't call out. I only receive. still i don't see a fax device on it so that means i would have to search the place for one. peaking around corners looking for the machine. I'd feel dirty doing that. i also don't know how to in-office-mail. there is not a secretary on my floor.

oh no i just relized that Reader's Digest never paid me. assholes.

my chess game

i don't know if there's a computer chess game like this or not, but i want to play a game were you sort of travel around the world to different chess locations. Bryant park...some place in Paris... Moscow... well anywhere. and there can be levels. like you can start at the park or the ymca. but the best part is you see the environment and an opponent. so i thought I should make a mock up of this game. i only got as far as creating the pons and the board. one of many types of boards. and i wanted to show the torso of the other player. the player won't move the pieces. perhaps with good animators and programmers the opponent might move. but i'm cool with just the fact that someone is there.

Anyway here's my idea only I didn't add a background environment yet. I used Liv Tyler as the opponent for now.

Life is too hard

I’m not sure why I deserve to live sometimes. Like right now. I am trying to fill out the paper work for my health insurance. I am an idiot. I make plans to convince NASA to send me into space to experiment with watercolor in orbit. I sat in on a calc class at Columbia thinking I was going to compute a path to the sun from earth with no curves. But here I am looking over my shoulder at the insurance form on my drawing table. I can’t do it. I have the choice of 3 plans. There are 2 Aetna’s and 1 Oxford. All I want is to go to a really good doctor that won’t waste my time or fuck me up. I’ve seen how Jose’s insurance fucks him over all the time. I would like to know just how much this is going to cost me. I’m looking through the paper work and all it tells me is what my co-pays will be. Over and over. I want to see a chart-Yes a picture- of the most expensive to the least expensive. If the most expensive is 300 a month then I will choose the second most expensive. That’s my math. It’s simple enough to me. Do you think I will sound like a complete idiot if I explain my solution to HR?

Oh god if I ever get married my spouse with hate me for this. If not for the paper work then for the fact that I don’t look at prices when I shop. I don’t shop often…for anything. I hate it. I hate shopping. I hate sales.

For example: A few weeks ago I was coming back from my soccer game. It was cold and wet and I felt like I was going to catch a cold. On the way home I stopped at rite aid for soup and hot cocoa mix. When I got home I made a cup of cocoa and complained to José about rite aid not have marshmallows. Looking at the box he asked how much hot cocoa mix was. I was like “I don’t know. I don’t look at prices.” He was like, “how do you know look at the price?” And I said, “cus it doesn’t matter to me. If I want cocoa I’m going to buy cocoa. Plus it was 1 o’clock in the morning and raining what am I going to do? Bargain shop?”

anyway Jose that it was funny. But anyway in my defense about not bargain shopping ever…I don’t shop so when I do I feel its ok to buy more expensive things. Bullshit answer I know. Oh man I still have to fill out the paperwork today but I think I spent my free-time writing this. Now I have a board to redraw.

BITCHES

If i ever feel home sick for my old apartment all i have to do is use the internet and eventually my connection will fail. at that point i shake my fists and growl "BITCHES."

Then I head down to Jose's room, barge in when no one in there. climb over some shredded not so recycled paper and unplug both the netgear and modem, wait 15 seconds and replug. Then i go back to my computer and check the connection. I repeat if necessary.

"BITCHES" is the network name for our wireless router. It made perfect sense. Netgear is a little shit. Our first netgear (Cynthea's Netgear) was finally laid to rest at some point and Tricia's netgear took over. We named it "BITCHES" as well. Tricia gave the Netgear to Jose, Brian and me when she when left for Korea.

Now I am trying to upload my entire website folder by folder. Netgear is having lots of fun with that.