For now please enjoy this letter...
To My Dear Gertrud,
I regret that I was not able to write until now. I was kidnapped by South American drug lords while traveling to Belize. After becoming infected with a bot fly, the locals showed my how to "smoke it out" using a beer bottle and match. Because of this incident, the drug lords mistook me for a member of the DEA and held me captive in a warehouse of marijuana. To escape, I had to burn the place down and suffered from smoke inhalation and an extreme high which has damaged my ability to spell and use grammar correctly. The bot fly situation was also remedied do to the fire. Tomorrow, I will attempt to swim 10 miles of the Gulf into the US because the drug lords confiscated my passport. Wish me luck. I will be thinking of you.
I miss you dearly,
Gavin
P.S Thank you for the book, Jack, by AM Homes and for the two hundred dollars on page 135. I think it will help me return to New York and read the letter you have addressed to by very good and platonic friend, Christi. I also hope that finding a vinyl copy of the Tegan and Sara album was not difficult.Here is a picture of me looking at a buzzard.
3 comments:
ha ha ha what?!
oh remember how we were talking about how "unimportance" does not pay enough to cover my extremely expensive rent. But if I earn even a little money that is reportable I get punished by losing "unimportance" that week. SO... I'm looking for cash gigs.
I came up with this idea while talking to Sara about becoming a fantasy BF or GF to lonely somebodies and I will write them of my adventures and send them pictures of me(different models) on mountain tops. And well they will send me money so I can survive the adventure...
that is an awesome idea
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